Navigating Triggers in Intimate Relationship

"Since my partner and I started living together, I’ve noticed his habits continually trigger my ego. The more I get triggered, the more resentment I feel – an intensely sickly feeling in my stomach, followed by fearful thoughts about whether this is the end. But when I feel present, I look at him and know I love him. Can you explain what’s happening? Rupert says: ‘Do you discuss this with him? That’s good. And can you discuss it lovingly and with humour, or does it become defensive and accusing? A principle from nonviolent communication: don’t start a sentence with “you”. “You did this, you drive me crazy” – it’s accusing and tends to be met with defence. Find out what objections are legitimate shared issues that require balance, and what are your own private peeves. If your partner has a stutter or wears red t-shirts you don’t like – that’s your problem, not his. Be clear about the difference. These habits don’t sound serious enough to break up the relationship – they’re little ripples on the surface. Be affectionate and humorous about them. If you can remember not to start a sentence with “you”, your partner will feel invited rather than attacked.’"

From event 27 February - 01 March, 2026 The Nature of Consciousness – Online Weekend Retreat at Home 27 February–1 March 2026

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