The Unchanging Witness of All Experience

Take one small step back from the content of your experience to the presence of awareness you essentially are – the ever-present background of your continually changing experience. We derive our feeling of continual change from experience content, yet our conviction of being the same person comes from being the same unchanging awareness. The awareness aware of this experience is identical to the awareness that witnessed your experience last week or when you were a child. You, awareness, touch all experience intimately, but no experience touches you – just as nothing on earth affects the sunlight illuminating it or the vast space containing it. Awareness shines with the same steady light regardless of content. See that all experience not only arises in awareness but is made of the very awareness within which it appears. Every experience is simply a temporary modulation of the luminous, empty substance of awareness.

How can one play a part in the world without forgetting oneself as awareness? Rupert says: ‘It’s natural to forget oneself. It’s natural to remember oneself, you just, to begin with . . . you become aware of yourself as awareness, just briefly for brief moments in between the flow of your experience . . . The more often you return to yourself, the more often you remember yourself, the easier and easier it gets . . . Experience begins to lose its power over you, its hold over you . . . In time, you’ll begin to feel this gravitational pull of your being. That’s the pull of grace . . . It becomes natural, like an actor losing their self in the part they play.’

"How can one overcome the mind’s habit of comparing oneself to others, which leads to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt? Rupert says: ‘When you identify yourself as a person, when you identify yourself with the content of your experience, thoughts, feelings, sensations, perceptions, actions, relationships . . . you will by definition be comparing yourself with other people . . . The feeling of being worse than others will be accompanied by guilt or shame or doubt or lack or inadequacy . . . If you identify yourself as being or being aware, then there’s no question of comparing yourself with anyone. Because the being of everyone, the awareness with which everyone is aware of their experience is the same awareness.’"

"How should one deal with difficult emotions like anxiety, loneliness and boredom? Rupert says: ‘It’s perfectly OK to deal with emotions such as loneliness or boredom or anxiety at a relative level . . . But what we do here is we go to the very core of these feelings . . . The ultimate cause of all these emotions is because we haven’t seen our self clearly . . . that to which the word ‘I’ really refers, namely, being or being aware. There’s no boredom or loneliness or sorrow there.’"

"Why do I experience a deep existential fear, and how should I approach it? Rupert says: ‘The fear is one of the root emotions of the separate self, the apparently separate self or ego . . . The remedy for it is not to do anything to the fear, but to recognise that aspect of yourself that is already and always inherently free of that fear . . . Don’t embark on a spiritual practice in order to get rid of the fear, because then you’ll just be colluding with it subtly and perpetuating it . . . The separate self longs for that disappearance, but it also fears it, because it realises that it will die or dissolve into that experience.’"

"How can I handle resistance from my partner and relatives when they disagree with my non-dual understanding? Rupert says: ‘If your behavior is kind, loving, fair; if you’re always at peace, you’re never reactive emotionally. If you’re just quietly happy for no reason, they can’t argue – they can argue with non-dual theory, but they can’t argue with peace, and kindness, and understanding, and joy . . . Demonstrate your understanding. Don’t speak about it . . . Your family cannot understand your position, but you can understand their position . . . You’re the one with the broader or deeper understanding. Therefore, you bear the responsibility in the relationship.’"

"Can you explain the distinction between witnessing and being awareness? Rupert says: ‘The witness is a stage in the journey. Most people are completely identified with the content of their experience, thoughts, feelings and so on . . . The first step is, see that you are the witness of your experience . . . But the recognition, “I am a witness”, is not the full recognition of your true nature . . . You then have to go deeper into yourself. “But what is the nature of this witnessing presence of awareness that ‘I am’?” . . . The witness is the recognition, “I am awareness” . . . The second step is the recognition of the nature of the awareness that “I am”.’"

"What is the definition of enjoyment, and how do we discern our true preferences? Rupert says: ‘Enjoyment is when the inherent joy of being shines in your perceptions, your activities or your relationships . . . You feel “I am enjoying this friendship, this walk” . . . But what you’re really enjoying, what you’re really tasting is the joy that is not inherent in the activity or the relationship – it’s inherent in being . . . Your happiness is your gift to God . . . God wants your happiness above all else.’"

"What if I understand non-duality intellectually but cannot find the ‘I’ that is supposedly aware of my experience? Rupert says: ‘You say, “I can’t find an ‘I’, but instead, I find lots of other things going on, like thoughts and feelings.” Now, when you say, “I find thoughts and feelings”, what is the ‘I’ that finds or knows your thoughts and feelings? . . . You’re right, you can’t find it as an object of your experience . . . But nevertheless . . . there is something that is hearing the sound of my words, that is knowing your thoughts, that is feeling your sensations, that is perceiving your room . . . Knowledge of your own being is the only experience there is that doesn’t take place in subject-object relationship.’"

"What do you mean when you sometimes talk about how we half create, half perceive the world? Rupert says: ‘When I quote William Wordsworth saying we “half create, half perceive the world”, I’m saying something more fundamental than simply that our thoughts and emotions affect the way we experience the world . . . Your perceiving faculties create not the reality of the world, not what the world is in and of itself, but they create its appearance . . . If you look at white snow through orange-tinted glasses, it will appear orange . . . So if you are completely miserable and depressed . . . that’s going to affect not the reality, but the appearance of the world. Next day, you fall madly in love, that’s a different pair of glasses . . . you’re looking at the same reality, but you’re going to see it in a way that is consistent with this new quality of your own mind.’"

"How do I maintain awareness of the wholeness in everyone, even when I do work in jails and observe difficult human behaviour? Rupert says: ‘People in jails, they’re not used to being seen like that . . . If you are seeing them primarily as this pristine, innocent, beautiful being, you will be helping them immeasurably . . . Your presence is literally a blessing . . . You will be conferring the peace of being on them . . . When they press your buttons, at that moment, you’re not standing in your being – you’re standing in your mind, and your mind is being hurt or upset by something they’re doing or saying . . . Take that as an opportunity, instead of engaging with them about their behavior, to go back to your being.’"

"How can I develop a fascination with thinking while avoiding overthinking? Rupert says: ‘Thought is a beautiful activity that can both express the neuroses of the ego or separate self, but it can also explore and express truth . . . But of course, you can overthink, you can use thought inappropriately . . . The important thing is, is your thinking being used in the service of love and truth and understanding? In which case, think as much as you like? Or is it being used in service of the separate self or ego, in which case, explore that ego, that sense of self?’"